What’s up Tribe?

It has been a minute since I made a post or took some time to write…I think we can all say that COVID smacked us hard in the face. Who living on this Earth currently can say that they lived through a pandemic that brought the ENTIRE world to a HAULT! And for a lot of people – it was not OK! It has tested and tried many of us in various aspects of our life. I know for me personally it has been an awakening period in my life. So I thought I would be vulnerable and share.

As I am sitting here listening to Jhene Aiko “Chilombo” in front of a big window, overlooking the Queen City on a rainey day – I must admit that I am grateful for this quarantine time. Now don’t get me wrong, I miss people, I miss my tribe, I miss traveling, and some days have SUCKED. But I have learned and embraced a lot about me. As many of you know, I am a nurse practitioner and healthcare is in my DNA. When all this started, Sapphire Dreams suffered. COVID hindered my motivation. All I could think about was my patients - how do I continue to provide quality care remotely, will I be deployed to a different area to help, how will patients with chronic conditions still get what they need, how do I help patients navigate this anxiety-ridden phase in life without getting anxious myself…I worried about my family, my friends, my 20 something year old nieces who don’t grasp the concept of staying home. I worried about those who now have to suffer more at home due to bad relationships, abusive parents, loss of work, the very apparent single life and yes I will admit - the loss of vacation!!! I love vacation – it was my therapy!!! So much collateral damage is what I would focus on. The mental health challenges. 3 years ago – all of this on my brain would have put me in a mood and I was known to self isolate and get in my own head. NOT THIS TIME SATAN!!!!

During this time I have found ways to cope and accept this shift in life. About a year and a half ago, I started counseling which has been the best thing in life! I didn’t have major life issues but I had issues that allowed depression and anxiety to creep up in my spirit. And I had to look in the mirror and say – how can I be good for anyone if I can’t be good to myself??? So I signed up and I don’t regret this investment in myself. And I am so glad I did because then came COVID!

When this little devil popped up – we all went through the 5 stages of grief right?!

We were in denial! It was like – yeah, OK. It’s bad…but is it that bad? The flu is still killing people. We never shut down for the flu. Not even H1N1.

Then stuff started closing, vacations were cancelled, jobs impacted and we got angry!

I can’t get my nails done?
My trip is cancelled?

I have to wait in the line to go in the grocery store?

Who took all the damn toilet tissue?

I can't start my new job? You have to let me go?

And so much more. Now some people are bargaining – I mean, ok so if I wear a mask and gloves for like the next month – will it be ok. Some people are even extreme in thought and feel like well I mean - the world can’t continue like this right? We can just lift restrictions and go back to normal – right?!? Some of us are already depressed and this pandemic culture became a trigger once we thought about issues like the financial impact on our lives, those were already dealing with various challenges and lost access to resources and care, the sadness people felt when they couldn’t attend the funeral of a loved one. And then there is this thing called acceptance – which is where I am today. Now you know these stages are fluid!!! But today I want to acknowledge the blessings in all of this.

Yes I could have done more for my clients and Sapphire Dreams tribe. And I apologize if you needed me – but it wouldn’t have been genuine because I was initially not ok. I had worries, I had concerns and I had to check in with self. Being genuine and real is at the core of me. And this time has allowed me to observe what it is important and real in order for people to cope through these hard times. That comfort & security has been TIME WITH YOUR TRIBE!!! The absolute foundation of Sapphire Dreams. I will admit I am tired of technology due to overload!!! I love actual human connection in the physical sense. My eyes are tired from TV, Zoom calls, social media surfing, electronic book reading. However, the time I have spent with friends who I have not been able to spend time with has been the mattered the most. All of us are professionals and we all lead busy lives. Now many of us are working from home and home schooling but despite those duties – we have made time almost every day for each other. Group texts, video chats via FaceTime , Zoom, or Google Duo, social media dance parties, and phone calls have been amazing. We have read devotional plans with each other via the Bible app and had a little Bible Study. We have had home spa days together by sharing various products we have found online. **Side note – this exfoliating foot mask is scary and I will be in socks for like the next 2 weeks!!!!!** I even bought some crystals and did some learning with a friend after watching an IG live segment on self care. I’ve learned about my ascending sign (who knew?!). I have honestly felt more connected to myself and my tribe in the last 2 months than I have before. Another layer of purpose & gratefulness has been added. It sounds cheesy – but we ARE all in this together. Perspective!

Quarantine has been a blessing. It is our time to focus on what is important and do some future planning based on what we have learned during this time. New habits have been created. New relationships have been built. Some relationships have been lost (Congrats!) and some strengthened. New passions have been developed. Some people realized they weren’t passionate after all. Some of us learned independence and some learned they are not so independent after all. But most of us have learned this one simple statement - it is going to be ok. People still do believe in the idea that it takes a village, it takes a community. And my hope and prayer is that when we are ALL off punishment – we keep this same energy. We continue to focus on what is important. We prioritize. We embrace all that life brings. We love. We smile. We show gratitude. We continue to make time for each other. We accept change!

 So if you have been wallowing – take a second to write down your blessings and the good things that came from COVID. Then break-up with the idea of the pandemic, embrace this time that we likely will not get again unless forced, and prepare for your new normal. None of us should come out the same after all of this!

Be blessed and stay safe!